Kekasihku Rindu???

Acapkali aku terjaga tika sang mentari belum lagi mahu menampakkan cahayanya di bumi. jam 4, kadang-kadang 5..selalu sahaja aku tidur kembali...tapi sejak kebelakangan ini,wujud satu kesedaran dalam diri ni untuk muhasabah segala apa yang berlaku pada diri dan sekeliling..mula mencari hikmah di sebalik kejadian..

Mungkinkah Allah bangkitkan kita dari tidur awal kerana Dia rindukan kita?

-rindukan tahajud dan zikrullah daripada kita...

Mungkinkah Allah menjatuhkan semangat kita terhadap sesuatu kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan doa dan rintihan daripada kita...

Mungkinkah Allah beri kesusahan kepada kita kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan kebergantungan kita terhadap-Nya yang empunya segala ini...

Mungkinkah Allah sukarkan kita untuk khusyuk kerana rindukan kita?

-rindukan usaha keras daripada kita untuk Allah...untuk ibadat kerana Allah...tanpa putus asa...

atau, mungkinkah kerana sayangnya Allah kepada kita?

Pernah tak terjaga dari tidur di saat subuh sudah mula nak berlalu dan syuruk hampir muncul?Mungkin kerana Allah sayangkan kita...mahu kita bangkit untuk solat Subuh agar tak terlepas...acapkali....termasuk untuk solat asar dan maghrib terutamanya...

Pernah tak di saat kita jatuh, ada sahaja yang mahu membantu atau berita gembira yang datang?ya...betapa sayangnya Allah pada kita...sentiasa ada di saat kita lupa kepada-Nya...sentiasa ada di saat kita perlukan bantuan daripada-Nya...sentiasa ada di saat kita berjaya dan gembira,meskipun selalu sahaja kita lupa kepada-Nya...hina bukan diri ni yang tidak membalas rindu Allah...yang tidak membalas kasih sayang Allah ini...

Ya Allah,jauh di dasar hati ini ingin merasakan rindu kepada-Mu...ingin merasakan cinta kepada-Mu...namun,acapkali terlena dengan dunia ini...acapkali bermegah dengan nikmat kurniaan-Mu...Tunjukkanlah jalan buatku untuk membalas rindu-Mu itu dan berkasih sayang dengan-Mu serta merasai manisnya iman.....

Is there any such thing as coincidence?

its examination period..done already with 2 papers-the "EASY" ones according to others if compared to the next 4.tonight i was planning to finish my revision for biochem at least till lipid n nucleotide metabolisms.tgh dok semangat revise the topic,sampai plak kt 1 part yg x berapa nk clear kt hardcopy notes tu...so,with hopes that i have the softcopy in my laptop,i searched for it...result:i don't have it..since dah buka laptop,why don't jenguk fb for a moment-always like that... -__-

huhu,hanis posted the cam for ungs2040k in Kami Warna-warni group..n although i have expected it before, i never thought that i would be this upset and down.even if i get full marks for the final paper,still i cannot get an A for the paper...huhu...i always thought that ungs papers are the chances for me to get As,like what i've got for ungs2030k last semester.verily, Allah knows what is best for me...maybe if i can easily get good marks for this time,maybe just maybe i would be 'riak'.so He made things this way..to make me return to Him and work harder...

back to the fb part, everyone seems to be upset too about the cam and ystrday's paper.this has made me even more upset about mine.so,i just asked anyone yg tgh online fb at that time to give me an advice that is good enough to make me motivated again...guess what,amal text-ed something to me..

""Dan sungguh, Kami benar2 akn menguji kamu sehingga Kami mengetahui org2 yg benar2 berjihad & bersabar d antara kamu, & akan Kami uji perihal kamu."(Surah Muhammad:31)

And guess what again,amal bg msg tu after i posted that request on fb even though she's not even online..and the verse,really touched my heart so deeply that i cried without realising it....its like Allah made amal to send the msg to me to remind me,to comfort me..Subhanallah....Subhanallah...

Allah rindukan rintihan kita.thanks to amal for reminded me about one more thing,that we often convey our fear,sadness,happiness on fb to others..but actually,it is Allah that is the closest one to us,every second, every hour, everywhere..we can just simply turn to Him and convey it,share our feelings to Him.as He is always with us..i hope this post would be something beneficial for all too as it is to me....wallahualm

#i planned to post about the need to share my feelings to someone,a friend,in here just before i got the message from amal.and suddenly the feeling of loneliness in me was gone and has been replaced with the feeling of syukr and grateful as well as love to Allah,which is what it is supposed to be..thus,the post turned out to be about this miracle from Allah... :)

sunday.... -__- ....sundae??

not really..this sunday is a bit tiring n weird.badan2 rasa lenguh,penat n at anytime blh tertidur.even while doing my work at the desk also i can fell asleep.went to "Muslim Scholar" talk n workshop early this morning..Alhamdulillah...great input did i got.but still,cannot help me in answering questions in my mind.all that i could say about today is that,it is just another plain day,maybe a little bit fun at the morning,with all the jokes made by the speaker.but i don't know..this weekend seems like my mood n spirit to study n finish my work are not here.it takes a long time for me to finish my work.n seems like doing those work is not as enjoyable as always..

Oh God!Oh Allah!help me pls..give me some wills,some spirits,n some supports for me to finish all my work by tonight.cause tomorrow,i never know what will come to me..maybe more work to be done?hopefully not..huhh,just remembered..i have a meeting tomorrow night with the board of SCIENCESS.and tomorrow morning insyaAllah my group will have to present about the development of BM in class.and tomorrow i have discussion for mcb lab report.also, need to discuss with the whole batch regarding any issue that may arise in the batch.also,i have a short discussion for BM again,for me to give some talk about babies' dumping in Malaysia in Tuesday class.luckily i have no biochem lab for this week.but still,last week's lab report still not done yet..not even started actually.

and this week,insyaAllah, yana will be back to Kuantan.hopefully she's alright.cause if she's not,it would just make me even worrier and even more stress actually-seeing her sad.ok lah,better get going with my work now.its 10.13 pm already.tick-tock...time is running..better chase it now...salam.

1714,07012011

today,friday,7th january 2011..its new year already.n its friday..but i'm so not in a good mood today..

first,its because Diyanah's mom has just passed away around 11 sth pm last night.i feel so useless as there is nothing that i could do to calm her down.but Alhamdulillah,she is a strong person.she sounds so calm when i called her last night.i pray to Allah that she and her family are strong to face this news and to go through the future without her beloved mother by their side.also, may her mother is placed together with the mukminin in the Paradise.InsyaAllah.Verily Allah knows best what is best for their family.

secondly,perhaps its because of the tons of work to be done and things to be thought of for this week as well as this weekend.from the lab reports,group discussions,calculus' pbl discussions,revisions,to the matters regarding the batch.this week is quite tiring for me and makes me quite emotional.with the twin keep on giving me compliments and praises that i think i do not deserve.with the weather that always cold here at Kuantan..these really affect my mood for this whole week.

i'm not a perfect person.some might see me as one,but i'm not.instead, i might be even worse than what people might think about me.cause i keep most of my thoughts,feelings all by myself that people do not know what kind of person i am.who says that i don't feel alone..honestly,almost most of the time..i just pretend to be not.maybe that is what makes me an ignorant.i became someone that ignore my own feeling,thus,became an ignorant of others also.but then,when someone tells me her feelings or problems,i don't know how i should react.that makes me a bad respondent.i cannot give the right facial expressions,the right words,or body languages to the people around me,even if i wanted to,badly..

my exam results might be good, but believe me,there are others that get better than me.do not praise me because of my achievements.they are not helping me to be better actually.they only make me become someone that is not grateful.i might looked tired or stress due to all the work that i have to do on behalf of the batch.please, do not say,"pity me", as i actually enjoy doing them.because if you say so, it might actually change my intention in doing those things.so,please,don't..

i feel so useless that i think i should be away from people.
i feel so lonely that i think i cannot stop crying.
i feel so bad that i think i should not talk to others anymore as they might get hurt of what i wll say.

but i take all these feelings as part of His tests..verily, a good person will not be affected by her own emotions.i will try to be one.insyaAllah...